nervous ramblings from a confused girl.
i wonder, if maybe the whole thing is just a joke. sometimes. people are very rarely actually happy with each other, or themselves. i think. i don't like being forward, i'm actually pretty bad at it. i know most people don't realize it but i am terribly, painfully, and inexcusably shy. most of the time. especially with men. i, as a rule, will not, do not, and cannot make the first move. maybe this is why my long line up of them is so sadistically.... bad. how does one though, jump out of that rut and say... hey, let's cut through the crap and just get it together, eh? christ. people aren't even worth making that jump, you know? i mean, really. if i made that leap, who would catch me?
just give me something i can use fellas. something normal. and something real.
"too many guys think i'm a concept or i complete them or i'm gonna make them feel alive, but i'm just a fucked up girl who's looking for my own piece of mind; don't assign me yours."
(from that movie with jim carrey and the other chick what's her name with the hair. yeah. that movie, which i'm sure is suppose to be a happy one, appears to me to be only sad. but yeah. the quote comes from that. the title is too long for me to remember or bother with at this juncture.)
