i have embarrassingly weak willpower.
or is it that i just don't care anymore? i'd like to think it's the latter. or a healthy mix of the two. either way. i am very strange about the bitterness i feel towards men that break my heart. to some, i can move on and maintain relationships with them as though nothing ever went awry. with others, i never forgive them. or speak to them again. there's no real rhyme or reason to which ones i choose to abandon and why. maybe it really is a lack of caring after all. what else would explain the fact that i actually talked to someone tonight, whom i've not talked to in literally, months, and who hurt me very deeply. nothing major, nothing deep, or even worth remembering. still. it's... something. isn't it? maybe i'm getting better about not holding grudges? or maybe my men are just meaning less and less to me. heh. if you saw the men i go for, you'd see why that is entirely believeable.
this is great.
"nothing in the world is more sacred to me than this: making life and love. that is my religion."
