Ohana means family.
See, not only is lilo stitch a fucking hilarious movie, it is also educational. In a way. I mention this because ohana is on my mind now. And not my immediate family. The one in which I am currently trapped with.
Let me give you an idea of just what kind of hell I am in� I know something that I would bet that most people don�t. wham, apparently, had a Christmas album. Of sorts. I�m sure how you can imagine how I now know this information. I like George Michael as much as the next gal, but come on. CHRISTMAS MUSIC??? Oh. The beach boys have an album or two as well. You should feel very sorry for me. So, my dad�s got these different ring tones set to particular people, you know, different ring for a different person. You people with cell phones know what I am talking about. Anyway, the ring tone he has for when I call him: hail to the chief. Just to SPITE me. And he thinks it�s just the funniest thing in the world. Should be hail to the thief dad. Cause not only is that the best radiohead song there is, it�s also what bush is. See how that works?
My kitties love me. My eldest though, I noticed a weird thing on her. It felt like� something under her skin on her stomach. Tumor, maybe, I dunno. But she was twitching really strangely, so I am severely freaked out. She was not doing this a few weeks ago. I�ve had this cat since she was born, since I turned ten. We grew up together. Even thinking about the possibility of something bad happening to her isn�t a thing I can even deal with to think about. There will need to be a vet trip very soon.
Oh. I just realized what the date was today. As of a few days ago, I�ve been single, well, single as in not on my way to marrying someone, for four years. Don�t people always say that however long it was you were with someone it takes you equally that long to get over them? It�s officially been that long, even though I got over the whole thing quite a while ago. Thinking about it though, I�m reflecting on my progress. It took a very long time for us both to learn to be un-dependant of one another. Whenever I had a problem, with anything, I had to call david. Had to. Now, I never call him, unless I am returning a call he made to me. I don�t even have his stupid number memorized. He calls me, less. He�s better. He�ll call when he is in a sappy mood and wants to drag me down to it as well. Fortunately I know immediately upon hearing his voice when he is in just such a mood. It�s so weird, you know. I was in this god awful miserable abusive relationship with him, but I seriously didn�t think I would recover from the break up. That doesn�t really make much sense, I guess. I still don�t really understand it. But I did. Took a while, but I did it. And I�m even past all the general boys are jerks fuck this shit relationship issue stuff. I think. At least I�m not running from something that could turn into a possible something, if you know what I mean. Loving someone doesn�t scare me blind anymore. Being loved, however, tends to make me wary. It takes a very special patient sort to actually love me. Or insane. Unfortunately I�ve had a healthy mix of the latter. Hence, my wariness to allow a thing like someone falling mad for me happen. But� maybe I should not be so suspicious of others intentions all the time eh? As leslie would say, in shutting people out I�m missing out on experiences. Or something. Pregnant women say wacky things.
