i want something that weakens my soul.
aside from my perpetually being in love. i do fall in love with everyone a little bit in my own way. i just have too much love for one body to stand.
like in "love in the time of cholera," i thought i was seeking something like love but without the problems of it. now i realize, i want the problems. i want everything it entails, good and bad. i am not seeking love. how can anyone? i dont understand how people can go out and look for something like this and expect to just... find it. find it like a bargain at the grocery. i want no bargain based thing anymore. i'll pay full price for quality. i mean, you know what i mean. love finds you. you cannot look for something so rare and expect to find it. let it come. the truth, like love, loves me. it always comes to me. trouble is, it is too late before i realize if the love that found me is the right kind or not. all too often not. i am not seeking anything. but eventually i would like the right type of it to find it's way to my door. or somewhere relatively close by.
If you can't believe me, it'll make it hard to believe in you Cause we all need each other, well you know it�s true ~The Grateful Dead
