i had the lovliest dream with you in it.
and then i woke up.
life, it seems, does not imitate our dreams. people, also, do not imitate how they act in our dreams. maybe our dreams are sometimes based on wishful thinking, eh?
in real-life, people are selfish. and not the good kind, you know what i mean. (if you've read the fountainhead, that is) in real life people are unabashedly cruel to people who care about them, for really no reason at all. they create false reasons in their heads to be mean to people, simply because they do not know how to deal with their own shit. they take it out on the rest.
in real life people make you second guess yourself. make you feel horrible about yourself in a way that others have never done to you. i don't need that in my life. i don't need you in my life.
your void was a void for a lot less of a period of time than i would have thought. it's funny when you realize how quiet and content you become when you subtract the thing that gives you the most pain.
you no longer matter to me.
you are dead to me.
whatever we had was a mistake, in the truest sense of the word.
it is now as it should have been.
and how it will be.
